Monday, September 25, 2006

Newsletter September 2006

Second-hand suppositories and other less welcome issues...

...and let it never be said that this is not the way to open a community newsletter. It is miles (ok, meters in multiples of one thousand for the metric babies) better than any national newspaper on any day in recent months (years?).

Some day, hopefully sooner rather than later, I will experience a wondrous moment in time: I will find a newspaper front-page that is not bleeding, gasping, dying or already beyond rigor mortis.

I will grab said hypothetical newspaper in both hands and publicly rejoice. I will inform everyone within reach, in no uncertain terms, that this particular newspaper caries GOOD NEWS!

Then I will go clean myself and my immediate area, pick up the phone and call the editor.

Then I will probably wake up and realise that is was all just a figment of my imagination. A dream. There just seem to be no good news from any paper these days, and especially not from our local TV stations and in particular, nothing from the politically biased, openly vindictive guy on SABC’s Morning Live!


At least I have some good news today: “There is no such thing as a second-hand suppository”.

Yes, one can maybe share some medicine (never a good idea) but some are better if used once and never again - least of all by the neighbours.

Before I get emotionally carried away again, let us drop the (sorry) issue of SA Today. (Maybe I must start a newsletter on the Internet called SA Today. Anybody interested?)

While on the subject of the Internet, and immediately I’m trespassing on one of my Newsletter rules not to advertise via this medium, please go look at the following web-sites if you can:

http://www.peecee.typepad.com

http://uvongopharm.blogspot.com

and soon http://www.peecee.co.za

The first one gives you some information about the new PeeCee Bathroom range which we are now manufacturing, the second one has been around for a long time and contains the newsletters, some medical info, a facility where you can subscribe to my mailing list and then the last one will soon be the official commercial web site for PeeCee Manufacturing Chemist. We are going to take our product range into a much wider market area and the web is just the beginning.

As they say in the classics, ‘watch this space’.

So, in keeping with the classical format of previous newsletters, what else will be deemed less welcome (according to the opening header)? I should complete the statement somewhere.

I do not know; you tell me? What else is less welcome in our (your) life? We have already determined that certain dosage forms are less welcome if slightly pre-used (wonderful phrase emulating from the second-hand car industry). Also, certain personal items like reading glasses are less welcome if pre-read (phrase courtesy of the second-hand book store).

So what do we do with the stuff in our lives that are less welcome?

Maybe one must do the ‘cleansing thing’? Make your list of all that is not welcome anymore and then ruthlessly weed them out. If, on the other hand your list contains the names of your neighbour or your pharmacist, rather just opt to ignore them; no weeding please.

I am of cause referring to inanimate objects of irritation (IOI) – (try saying that acronym without your teeth might cause permanent paralysis of the cheek muscles).

Here is what we need to do: Brave the attic, storm the garage, enter the Wendy House with courage, pull open those long-forgotten drawers in the spare room, wherever you need to go, make your list. Divert stuff to junk. (Sounds very computer-like doesn’t it?) Yes, if you haven’t used it in five years, forgotten all about it, hated it from the beginning; divert to junk!

At this point I might want to quote some wise person from somewhere saying something like “Junk is something you desperately needs two weeks after you threw it away”.

Now, if this person was correct, his little piece of wisdom would have made him famous and as such he or she would not be referred to as ‘some person’, now would it? So, assumption, this person was wrong. Which means divert it to junk.

So once your list is complete, take said items to the waste disposal, or donate it to somebody who might need it, or sell it on E-Bay or at the local Ctenocephalides canis markis or commonly known as the Flea Market. Point is, get rid of it. Make space in your home. Make space in your life. Part with the old and redundant. In a sense, it is sort of a re-birth.

Go back often to that empty area you created in your garden shed, enjoy the space, and ponder a moment on the purpose of life which is to renew, to grow. To go forward boldly even though we always need the past to teach us and guide us in the right direction. Take your own body for instance; all the cells are replaced all the time regardless of your age. They are replaced (represents re-birth) according to the message and code in your genes (represents the past) to form new cells and in the process old cells die and the body gets rid of it (divert to junk).

Lesson over.

What is achieved with this whole exercise apart from keeping you away from the doom and gloom of the newspapers?

Just think of it as some sort of cleansing. Make way for something new. Detox your life. Feel refreshed and free. It works. Trust me.

In conclusion, please do not give the stuff to me, do not dump in illegal areas, do not offer to pay any accounts with old wristwatches or refurbished dentures from the pre-war era, do not accidentally get rid of any golf clubs, bicycles, magazines, fishing gear, stuffed animals without the explicit permission of the owner of said articles of household disagreement.

That being said and all, let us be joyous; Spring has sprung. Question is just, where?

To the Free State Cheetas: “Why?”

To the rest of the world, greetings from the attic,

Pieter & Renette Naudé